I try my best to be an optimist.
I love to just sit back & enjoy the world.
I know I'm shy but idgaf
I love inside jokes & nights out with my friends.
BTW, it's Ian and only Ian (:
Life is a constant battle with yourself. I think there’s a reason why God makes us meet people in our lives. It’s either we help them find themselves or they help us find ourselves.
Along the way we see their true colors, see everything that first impression hid. Things you didn’t even want to see.
Whether I deny it or not, i know that there is no way i couldve made it through this first duty station if i didnt meet the people i’ve come to know now. Yesterday when we went grocery shopping and karen pushed us through the parking lot like little kids, i felt a rush of fear. I told myself it’s either i get through this ride or i face plant and get run over by a speeding shopping cart. But after the ride was done i got down and couldn’t believe i got through it. Maybe that’s all i need sometimes. Little epiphany moments to remind me that my life was so simple before and i have to make use of the opportunity God gave me now. The traffic signs didn’t look so confusing back home, people walked everywhere, i got to watch the sun and the stars show up without even taking note of its presence. i want to watch the stars, but i dont want to watch it alone.
I just really wanted to accomplish it today. I just really really wanted to get my drivers permit :( it’s more expensive here and the test is fucken harder but I’ve been studying the papers for a while now. The only day of the week I can make it there is on Wednesdays because of my damn job and I went last week and wasted 20 dollars for taxi and it was a fail so I thought today would be perfect na but I’m always fucken wrong timing. The taxi just didn’t want to answer my fucking call and my fat friend just had to get a one night “dinner” call tonight and an hour later she asks me to watch a movie with her because apparently the guy stood her up.make me wait for nothing, just like what michael did on sunday, he tried to make it up with waffles but no..that didn’t change how inside out i felt or maybe im just overthinking again oh gosh. Now what am i doing i just tried to go through unit 1 of my CDC’s and answer some questions. I want to sleep just sleep off all of this hurtful feelings away. I usually spend two hours on the phone at night but i think i should just sleep this off. No one deserves to listen to me rant because honestly i dont really like listening to rants unless im in the mood.fuck this.
this old routine will drive you mad.
First Aid Kit<3
This was my favorite song (:
I need to take a walk, I don’t care about what people think. I’ll make myself look pretty and walk like I have something to ponder about. What’s worse than a stressing day at work is a stressing day at work every day. There’s no peace, no justice anywhere. I need to lay on the grass with someone and actually smile.
There’s nothing better than getting cheered up by someone who didn’t even have to try.
There were tulips, red roses, pink roses, tiny roses, green roses, carnations, white roses.. OMFGGG I fell in love and sad at the same time I wanted to buy myself flowers! If it was this pretty and this cheap back home love would always be in the air and no girl can go through life saying “I never got flowers” like I did back in high school
Hello, meet the girl version of Ian (left) and the guy version of Jeanie (right)
We look alike it’s scary ahahah!
Okay, so maybe i over reacted yesterday.
So i had to delete it before someone fight me HAHA.
Sheh just called and every time she calls we just get giggly and get kilig together. I miss her. Maybe that’s why Jane’s bestfriend’s with her. You always need that someone to call and spill every freaking breathtaking moment with and they become all kilig with you. My bestfriend is my bestfriend but idk why there are just certain things i can’t talk about with her…So i share everything else that tears my soul apart to my second self, my twin sister. I can’t imagine not having her to talk to because all i do now is rant everything and anything to her, and no matter what i know she WILL judge me but it doesn’t matter because she’ll always accept my stupidity.
*verifying features*
150 pounds sir?
*sir looks down at crotch*
I think so!
Yes sir -__- ahahaha!
Besides all of the crap I just wrote I had an epiphany today. Whatever you call it I just became sad again because I went to get a legit pedicure after bmt and tech school of never caring about my feet and making it be the monster it already was. so I got a pedicure with purple nail polish after, I think it’s legit enough for 23 dollars worth. I kept laughing when the lady massaged my foot with the grainy blue paste! Anyway back to my epiphany… They were taiwanese ladies. They looked like theyve been friends for a long time and they actually have a good business going on. They kept laughing and teasing each other in their own language and for a mere second I wished I understood their happiness. It would be nice to open a shop and just work with your friends one day. Wether it be the child day care erickas been dreaming or just me and jane’s fashion shop.. I’d like to feel that aura of bliss every dang day at work, even if I don’t have a degree.
Let’s see if this becomes a fail or not. Whatever happens, it’s already here right. I’ll spill my heart out in a little bit. I hate feeling this distraught, last time I felt so lost was when I felt like I wasn’t gna graduate BMT and my MTI was rubbing in my face how I didn’t work hard enough for my family. Oh well…fuck this jeanie you idiot.
